it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
