but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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