We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
