did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
