NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
