How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
