I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize