??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
my sisters under your porch take her home
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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