It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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