32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
