oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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