I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Congratulations! We have a period
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