Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
