hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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