do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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