i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
