You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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