at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
