oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize