It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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