He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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