I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
