let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
