I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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