I'm really into asian looking animals
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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