I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
