New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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