Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
