Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
