No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
