What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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