She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
