So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
