I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
