No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
