eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
