Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Randomize
