drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hippo gnu deer
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize