I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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