Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
