this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
