I have demons in me.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
