I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
