so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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