and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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