I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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