My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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