i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
