If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize