Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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