Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
