You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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