Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
