i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
