Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize