so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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